no, i am NOT a discordian in disguise: this forum is an ignored warning to the world: some day, though it is not my wish, i will be forced to say I TOLD YOU SO!

Monday, May 28, 2007

Discordian 'Peace Ambassador' Resists Arrest

Self-proclaimed Discordian "Peace Ambassador" Fritz Kopfkrank begins to disrobe in a Denny's restaurant (known to have links with the supernatural cults) then clearly adds 'resisting arrest' to the list of charges (such as: general mischief, disturbing the peace and assaulting an Officer of the Law) in this YouTube video. Mr. Kopfkrank beligerantly shouts "WHAT!" at the Police Officer, then proceeds to continue smoking a marijuana 'joint' until the Officer asks him politely to drop it, at which point the "Peace Ambassador" thrusts it at the Officer, before taking on a kungfu stance against the Officer.

He then continues to ignore the Officer's requests for him to get down on the ground, only to suddenly thrust out his hand in some sort of Cult sign, meant to either disable the Officer or call in reinforcements. At that point the Officer knows that it is either him or this could-be terrorist, and so takes him gently to the ground, the Discordian screaming and crying like a baby the entire time. They are fine if they are on the winning end, but sqeal quickly when losing. He then begins to scream something which sounds like "I see all you!" in a moaning chant, which is a Chaos Magic technique - his hands aren't visible in the video at this point, so I strongly suspect he is masturbating, as this is a commen Chaos Magic technique, meant to strengthen the 'vibes' of the magic.

After that sad escapade the Officer attempts to handcuff the Discordian, only to have him react to the handcuffs as Gollum did to Elven rope, screaming and hissing, and then going so far as to try to claim that he can't put his hand in the handcuff because it has been "tore off" - despite the fact that the Officer can clearly see it. Discordians will bald-face lie to you even when the truth is evident.

The Discordian then proudly asserts that he hasn't bathed in five days, which is undoubtedly part of their religion, like fasting.

While being taken to the Police Car the Discordian begins to scream "Peace For Mankind!" - even though he was the one disrobing and throwing marijuana joints.

The video then moves on to first-hand accounts from citizens who were disturbed by the man, including one who was called "George Bush". Fortunately for the Discordian this citizen wasn't pushed far enough to resort to swinging a child's wooden seat at him, judging by how he reacted to the handcuffs this would have physically shattered him.

Luckily for us all he is charged with assault against the Officer.


Numinous Ubiquity said...

What a crazy old hippie! The police did use excessive force though, on the old man. He was crying out from the pain! And he did not assault the officer! He is a complete lunatic though. I am not sure where you get the idea that his cigarette is marijuana, or that this guy is a terrorist. He seems pretty harmless to me! He just seems like the kind of lunatic you see as a homeless bum on the street corner begging for cash. Maybe he lost his mind in Vietnam or something.

Anonymous said...

When you say "known to have links with the supernatural cults" do you mean the hippie ;or the Denny's?

Anonymous said...

How do you get a "Kungfu stance" out of a guy with his hands by his sides?

Central Scrutinizer said...

Watch the video, genius. It's fairly obvious.

t73s said...

the videos no longer available jackass