no, i am NOT a discordian in disguise: this forum is an ignored warning to the world: some day, though it is not my wish, i will be forced to say I TOLD YOU SO!

Thursday, February 1, 2007

Discordianism: The Hidden Threat

In the Senate Anti-Terrorism Hearings in the wake of the Oklahoma bombing, a new menace has come to light. This menace is a shadowy, formless anarchoterrorist cult known as Discordianism. This cult contaminates the information superhighway and its tentacles reach everywhere.

Below are some facts about this organization, its methods and motives.

FACT: One of the founders of Discordianism was involved in the Kennedy assassination.

Discordianism was cofounded by Kerry Thornley. Thornley was a close friend of Lee Harvey Oswald and was involved in a covert Marxist group in the Marines. After the assassination of President Kennedy, District Attorney Jim Garrison uncovered evidence conclusively linking Thornley to the conspiracy.

FACT: Discordianism preaches drug use, terrorism and sexual depravity and the overthrow of all governments

The Discordian "Bible", the Discordia, contain incitement to plant marijuana and disobey laws and advocacy of pornography and blasphemy. Other materials are even more explicit and extreme. THESE MATERIALS ARE DISTRIBUTED WIDELY BY THE MEMBERS OF THIS CULT.

Discordians are prominent in drug advocate, anarchist, communist and militia movements. They will be found in any movement which opposes and hastens the destruction of society.

It is clear that the Discordians have no respect for the values of society which they seek to destroy. And if society does not see the threat and react to it swiftly they may succeed.

FACT: Discordians are entrenched on the Internet and use it to disseminate their propaganda

Discordianism is a cancer which has spread widely all over the Information Superhighway. There are Discordian Netscape pages advocating sexual perversion, anarchism and drug abuse. There are even newsgroups created and run by Discordian agents. The Net, which is decentralized and hard to police, is a perfect haven for these rats.


WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE
---------------------


SUPPORT THE TELECOMMUNICATIONS REFORM ACT
The Telecommunications Reform Act, currently before the Senate, will make it a criminal offense to distribute obscene and indecent material, categories under which Discordian propaganda clearly falls. This would allow the perpetrators of these materials to be properly dealt with by the law. Write to your congressman indicating your support for the act.

PRESSURE ONLINE SERVICES TO SHUT DOWN KNOWN DISCORDIAN SITES.
There are Netscape pages all over the net run by Discordian cells, disseminating their poisonous propaganda to children. Some of these are at universities, some at commercial service providers. Letters and phone calls to the sites, describing the material and explaining why it is unacceptable would get it pulled. If the site refuses to comply, it may be sympathetic to or controlled by the Discordian group. If that is so, contact the site which provides it access and complain.

EDUCATE OTHERS ABOUT THE MENACE
Copy and spread this alert. Transmit it to others. Tell others about the menace and the very real threat of Discordianism. The more people know, the fewer will be seduced by their lies.

PROTECT YOUR CHILDREN
If your children have access to the net, monitor what they access. Do not allow them to access Discordian materials. If they have been contacted by agents of Discordianism, determine these agents' identities and call the police.

ACT LOCAL
Keep your eyes open -- the Discordians could be where you are! Look around you. If you notice Discordian activity, in your community, your workplace, your online service or elsewhere, keep an eye on it and alert others. Report any illegal activity to law enforcement authorities. Only you can stop this threat!

DISSEMINATE THIS ALERT WIDELY. SEND COPIES TO ALL CONCERNED CITIZENS. IT'S UP TO YOU! ACT NOW!

23 comments:

Rev. What's-His-Name? said...

Any citations or quotations you can post to back up your "Facts"?

Central Scrutinizer said...

Discordians are notoriously proud of their deviant behaviour, and are generally proud to proclaim it. Ask one, and you will get an answer.

What, in particular, would you like citations for, "Rev"?

Rev. What's-His-Name? said...

FACT: Discordianism preaches drug use, terrorism and sexual depravity and the overthrow of all governments

Idem said...

Nice jake btw.

Central Scrutinizer said...

Have you ever read your Principia Discordia, "Rev"? It's full of permission to smoke drugs and mess with people.

I have a word for you to look up: Altruism.

Piper said...

I would like to point out to you that laws are put in place for a reason, but they are not a reason in and of themselves. Hence, planting cannabis in your backyard is mostly a bad thing because it's against the law and people will get all ruffled up, not because it's actually a dangerous plant to grow.

Also. Discordianism? A cult? I smell a buzz word. Shame on you.
And I would like to leave it at that, but there's more to be said. Since you seem to like dictionary definitions, let's try this: How is Discordianism a cult? Don't throw around claims like that unless you can back it up. No, don't try to answer that. Have fun with yourself.

P.S. I don't see what altruism has to do with anything.

Central Scrutinizer said...

To begin with, the fact that you don't see what altruism has to do with "anything" says everything about your character.

Second, here is the definition of a cult:

1: a system of religious veneration and devotion directed toward a particular figure or object.

(Eris)

2: a relatively small group of people having religious beliefs or practices regarded by others as strange or sinister.

(I would certainly describe Discordianism as both strange and sinister)

Consider yourself rebutted, Piper.

Anonymous said...

BAN FREE SPEECH!! It is the only way to keep people safe from their own minds...
You forget that is one of our great nations laws. Also freedom of religion is in there too im pretty sure. Do your misconceptions about us expose us or you as the unamerican paranoid that is a danger to our society?
eff em if they cant take a joke

Central Scrutinizer said...

Would you mind rephrasing that?

Marcus has the evil in him said...

Central Scrutinizer said...

To begin with, the fact that you don't see what altruism has to do with "anything" says everything about your character.

Second, here is the definition of a cult:

1: a system of religious veneration and devotion directed toward a particular figure or object.

(Eris)


1: a system of religious veneration and devotion directed toward a particular figure or object.

Jesus Christ

2: a relatively small group of people having religious beliefs or practices regarded by others as strange or sinister.

Christianity upon it's inception, though having grown large, is still strange and sinister.

===
Don't try to play the part of an innocent here. The difference between a cult and a "religion" is how much funding it can soak the government for and how much it can pay the media to make it look good.

Central Scrutinizer said...

The difference is that "Discordianism" is an admitted joke - your own creators didn't take it seriously - how much did you see either of them write about Discordianism after the initial Principia Discordia - nothing.

It is a flat out joke that some people aren't getting due to the abundance of material on the internet. I am trying to wake people up to this fact.

BARON VON HOOPLA said...

"A cult is a religion with no political power."
-Tom Wolfe

Central Scrutinizer said...

Tom Wolfe is a pinko.

Numinous Ubiquity said...

Central Scrutinizer, you are such a fascist! It is people like you who put people like Adolf Hitler into power. You want a totalitarian government that controls everything and tells you what to think. And you call Discordians "rats", as if they are subhuman. You keep calling them terrorists, Communists, anarchists, and everything bad you can think of, without ever offering any evidence! And you keep saying that they do illegal things, again, without evidence. It is people like you that helped the East German Secret Police terrorize their own country's people. You are the worst kind of McCarthyist uptight pro-censorship fascist who wants to tell other people what they can think, say, and do. No thanks! I do not want people like you telling me what I can and cannot do, people who, like you, have absolutely no regard for freedom or democracy or human rights! Go ruin some other country, but not the United States! It's a free country, and it is staying that way whether you like it or not, Nazi!

Anonymous said...

sick puppets or autistic people, its hard to tell, either way, this is not even worth trying to analyze

Central Scrutinizer said...

That makes no sense. You should reread what you type before posting.

Also, put down the crack pipe first.

Saint Valifer said...

It is a flat out joke that some people aren't getting due to the abundance of material on the internet. I am trying to wake people up to this fact.

"It's often decribed as a joke disguised as a religion disguised as a joke, or a religion disguised as a joke disguised as a religion"

That can be found anywhere on the internet...so saying that people are ignorant because of the internet is a bigger misconception than Discordianism being a joke/religion, I think it's both(personally), the joke is the religion...

Central Scrutinizer said...

That comment made no sense whatsoever.

Rev. Joe Borfo said...

Hail Eris!

Saint Valifer said...

apparently, it made sense to Rev. Joe Borfo! Get with it, Central Scrutinizer!

"Eris is love"
"Without Nonsense and a little Thievery here and there...Creativity is impossible!"

~Love always,
Saint Valifer

Anonymous said...

Whenever somebody makes a good point you just say "that makes no sense" anyways, of coarse discordianism is a joke, its part of the religion/is a religion its part of the joke.
how does that make it more of a cult then Christianity? Christianity requires its members to worship Jesus and goes on bloody crusades in the name of Jesus, killing those who refuse to convert.
Discordiansim encourages people to come to their own conclusions. I am a discordian and I don't worship Eris.

Zombie said...

I think this might be the original article quoted in the Apocrypha Discordia. Well done! Although the line "... a shadowy, formless anarchoterrorist cult known as Discordianism. This cult contaminates the information superhighway and its tentacles reach everywhere." is attributed to "Concerned Citizens for a safe internet" instead of the Central Scrutinizer. You might want to talk to Prince Mu Choa over at 23ae.com for credit if you really wrote it.

WrechedChan said...

All i am saying is that my last boyfrend was discordian and all he wanted to do was anul sex! I was always like WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAF TO ASS FUCK? WHY CANT YOU MAKE LOVE WITH ME IN MY PUSSY INSTEAD?

ALSO HE DID NOT GIVE GRATE HEAD! I WANTED HIM TO SHOW A LITTLE MORE EMOTION BUT HE WAS JUST COLD. I BLAME IT ON THE DISCORDIANS!!! HE WAS ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT SOME HIMEBOBS THING AND GOING ON MISSIONS BUT HE NEVER LEFT THE HOUSE. JUST ME COMING OVER AND GIVING HIM ANUL ALL THE TIME.

I DONT THINK HE LOVED ME OR EVEN IS CAPABLE OF LOVE BUT JUST LIES!!!!!!