Some Details On Discordianism's Patron Deity

I thought it might help some of my loyal readers if I give some details on the deity that the Discordians rever so much. Any religion is only as good as its own god, or goddess, and a lot can be gleaned about a religion by looking into the deity. For instance, by looking closer at the Buddha one can discover that Buddhism is a peaceful religion based on the idea that the material world is in a constant state of transition. Simple enough, right? Let's look into Discordianism's deity, Eris:



ERIS was the goddess or spirit [daimona] of strife, discord, contention and rivalry. She was often represented specifically as the daimon of the strife of war, who haunted the battlefield and delighted in human bloodshed.

Sounds like a *delightful* goddess to rever, right? Let's read some more:

ERIS (Eris), the goddess who calls forth war and discord. According to the Iliad, she wanders about, at first small and insignificant, but she soon raises her head up to heaven (iv. 441). She is the friend and sister of Ares, and with him she delights in the tumult of war, increasing the moaning of men. (iv. 445, v. 518, xx. 48.) She is insatiable in her desire for bloodshed, and after all the other gods have withdrawn from the battle-field, she still remains rejoicing over the havoc that has been made.

Yes, my idea of a deity to worship! [Sarcasm]

Here's a bit where the legends describe how Eris created *all* of mankind's woe's:

"For ere this [the opening of Pandora's jar] the tribes of men lived on earth remote and free from ills [kakoi] and hard toil [ponoi] and heavy sickness [nosoi argaleai] which bring the Keres [Death-Demons] upon men; for in misery men grow old quickly. But the woman [Pandora] took off the great lid of the jar with her hands and scattered all these [the offspring of Eris] and her thought caused sorrow and mischief to men.

Shocking, appalling, and mostly sad.