Deep In The Blue Lagoon

A reliable source has provided me with information about a Discordian sub-sect which may be exactly the sort of Doomsday Cult I've always suspected them of being. At one point I had a theory about Discordianism being a front for a Sex Cult, which still may be true, but more nefarious claims are now being fed to me. Discordians claim to "stick apart", so maybe both types of cults exist? Time will certainly tell.

My source has told me that this group of Discordians, in cities all across the world (London, Paris, Amsterdam, New York, Los Angeles, Cairo), identifies one another by the codephrase *Alphabet of Brooke Shields*. Depending on what sort of material the name is left on (brick, cement, wood, etc.) the group lets others of its ilk know the goings on for their New World Order plan.

The group intends to bring the world back to an original empty state, somewhat like Mars today. The logic behind such a berserk notion can hardly be fathomed. I always wonder where the perpetrator of such ludicrous ideas think they will be when the dirty deed is done . . . ? The meaning behind the name is as bizarre as the name itself, it is apparently an anagram for "Sphere-Like Of As Blood-Bath", which purportedly describes their intentions accurately, if somewhat awkwardly.

I'm told that this splinter part of Discordianism is not new, and has gone by different graffitti catchphrases in the past: "I.S.S.S.V."; "Kilroy Was Here"; "Clapton Is God"; "Fnord"; "Bango Skank"; and "Nixon Sucks".

Keep your eyes peeled for any of these graffittis, and report them to your local authorities, if found: It could mean the lives of everyone you hold dear.